Monday, October 19, 2009


I believe that we are all vain about something. It could be that you believe yourself to be the best at organization, a great writer, or something more frivolous like knowing how pretty your eyes are. Whatever your vanity is, I'm starting to believe it should be embraced.

I have two main vanities (is that a word?) and if a date doesn't comment on one of them, I am turned off. I can't help it, well I can, but they are important to me. First, I love my hair. I will obsessively brush and arrange it, take it down and redo it. I'm not great at using a curling iron, or styling products, but I always try to make sure that it's shiny and smells good. Really, though, even if my date were to say 'you look great tonight', that's enough. It doesn't have to be a specific comment about my hair, but any compliment tells me that he appreciates the hour or so that I spent to look presentable on our date. Second vanity, my voice. I'm a singer, and though I don't sing very often anymore, if a guy compliments my singing he's halfway home. It's a turn on to be noticed and appreciated for a talent that I spent almost ten years of my life on.

Here's my questions; What are you vain about? How do you determine a guy's vanity, and compliment it?


  1. determine a guy's vanity?

    Oh, like we care...get on your knees and you've got us.

    Srsly, tho, we're all animals. Compliment our strength, our 'size', our prowess. Make us believe you're putty in our hands/mouths/grip, and you're halfway home.

    If a guy has obvious physical flaws, compliment him more. If he's fat, tell him how GREAT he looks tonight, how handsome. We won't believe you, but we might think you're crazy enough to believe yourself, and that helps, too.

  2. Vanity=Excessive pride: you don't compliment it. That way you aren't falling into the trap of being appreciated for stroking an ego. Don't determine his vanity...determine what he is slightly insecure about and compliment that, there is so much more value in being acknowledged for that which you don't shine than what you already think/ recognize that you do. Kind of a double edged sword...compliment the vanity or the insecurity. I am vain about doing anything for anyone, I don't need recognition for that. Say a little something about my music and that does wonders.