Tuesday, June 8, 2010

I'm Back!!!!

Hello all! I've been going through a lot the last couple of months and have missed getting to share here. I think I'll just jump back in the deep end.

I have been a resident of Fresno for just about five months now. I love living in Fresno! Love it. I will never understand people that complain about where they live. If I am bored with my city, I think that it is my responsibilty to create or find something to do. As my grandmother used to say 'Boring people get bored', and that is not me. I love that I can walk my neighborhood, go to Twee Boutique on Friday afternoon and craft with the girls there, find a friend at one of the bars in walking distance any night of the week, and that there is live music every night within an eight block radius. Living on my own has been great. I clean when I feel like it, which is never, but nobody else has to live in my sloppy house. It does get lonely and sometimes, even if I force myself to get out and socialize, I still feel I'm missing out on something.

Friends, I've never really had a long term romantic relationship. Sure, I've had guys that I dated for a few months, but never an honest-to-god, I could spend my life with this person, relationship. It's frustrating and humiliating in a way that I think few people can relate to. For the last ten or so years I've thought 'What is wrong with me?' I certainly don't have the romantic notions of one person for everyone, that I had as a little girl and teenager, but I do believe that it should be possible to find someone that thinks I'm tolerable. That being said, I do have pretty set opinions, and am not willing to settle for someone that I don't feel tugged towards.

So Kelly's and Stacy's mom (Kelly and Stacy are friends from high school and Encore Theatre days) is getting certified as a life coach. She needs to get hours together with clients before she can be certified, so I'm going to be one of her guinea pigs. There is, of course, a minor issue in the opening questionnaire. It asks questions like 'What would you like to get out of this experience?' or 'How do you want to grow?'. To which I say, I don't know, that's why I signed up for life coaching. I don't know what I want. Heck, I barely know what I want to wear each day, and clothing is something in my life I actually actively engage with. I'll keep you updated on this front, I might even ask for help from a few of you.

Speaking of help, I need a full time job. If anybody knows of someone that is hiring, please let me know. Thanks all!