I am unemployable. Apparently working for a family business for years and moonlighting as an actor isn't that impressive on a resume. All of that college for nothing, especially since I never got my degree. Not that a degree in Theatre would do me much good. How depressing.
On a lighter note, I listed one of my crochet flowers on etsy. I wore it today as a broach though, so I'll have to make a new one if someone wants to buy it.
Sorry friends, I'm feeling generally shitty about life.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Sunday, November 15, 2009
The Parents
My parents are going through a rough patch right now. Wait, what am I talking about, their relationship is a rough patch. If you ever want to understand my emotional retardation, you merely need to spend a day or two as a fly on the wall in my parent's house. I don't know what I want to say about all of this, just that I no longer have the energy to navigate their issues. I am not going to be their bridge builder anymore.
Sunday, November 8, 2009
My Full Story
OK, so I didn't tell the full story last night because, well, it was 3 in the morning.
I got dolled up last night, knowing that I would be at a club with lots of funny men and I love funny men. Let me tell you, I was looking pretty darn cute - Little black dress, black textured tights, red heels (my old standards), and red cardy. Did my hairs, some makeup, and got lots of 'wow, you look hot', which was making me feel darn good about myself. A lady at the gas station even told me I looked good. So I breezed into Tokyo Gardens feeling good about myself, found HP at the bar, got myself a Slow Gin Fizz (had to tell the bartender how to make it) and Jag announced that we had to meet his friends Chris and Roger (I think that was his name), that I especially would like Chris. *foreboding music starts here* We headed over to their table, and as soon as I turned the corner and saw Chris, I got nervous. There was some awkward moving around so that folks could sit down, with Chris suggesting I sit on his lap, then giving up his seat for me, but I was immediately struck with a case of jitters. (btw, could the booths at Tokyo Gardens be any smaller?) He's good looking, funny, obviously smart, there is no way this guy would ever even consider me, right? I spent the better part of the next twenty to thirty minutes trying to keep up with the conversation, laugh when appropriate, and not turn into my hyena alter ego.
The show started, and because of the way in which Tokyo Gardens is set up, I'm practically in Chris' lap trying to see the stage. The show itself was good, if uneven, with some guys killing (Johnny Osborne) and some guys dying (Jeff the Bastard). All the while, Chris is adding little aside jokes, some of which I get, some of which I just don't hear. Apparently everyone else notices that he's paying attention to me, everyone except me. Young Andy even tells me this morning that he thought Chris was my date. Very helpful.
After the show we head to the Grill for some munchies. I'm the first one there, get a table, get my chat on with SM (who ignores me just a little bit, admit it, you totally did!). Chris arrives next, but I'm not sure what to talk about, and am feeling particularly awkward. Once Jag and HP arrive, convo was smooth sailing again for a while, though I can feel them (Jag and HP) willing me to be better at the talking and interacting.
At last call, we're winding down and I head to the restroom, HP and Jag head home and I think Chris has gone as well. As I'm leaving, I stop to give SM a hug, and he gives me a funny look and a nudge over the shoulder. I'm like 'What?' and he directs me to Chris, standing there waiting. So I say to Chris 'oh, I'm sorry were you waiting to talk to Mike or Stephen?' like I need to get out of his way. SM hisses 'No, silly, he's been waiting for you.' 'What, noooo!' *much eye rolling on SM's part* I awkwardly try to salvage by digging in my purse for a card to give him. 'Well, it was really nice to meet you' *smile* He leaves and SM is indicating that I should chase after, which I should have. I don't know that there is any way to erase my cluelessness, but I wish I had those last five minutes to do over.
I got dolled up last night, knowing that I would be at a club with lots of funny men and I love funny men. Let me tell you, I was looking pretty darn cute - Little black dress, black textured tights, red heels (my old standards), and red cardy. Did my hairs, some makeup, and got lots of 'wow, you look hot', which was making me feel darn good about myself. A lady at the gas station even told me I looked good. So I breezed into Tokyo Gardens feeling good about myself, found HP at the bar, got myself a Slow Gin Fizz (had to tell the bartender how to make it) and Jag announced that we had to meet his friends Chris and Roger (I think that was his name), that I especially would like Chris. *foreboding music starts here* We headed over to their table, and as soon as I turned the corner and saw Chris, I got nervous. There was some awkward moving around so that folks could sit down, with Chris suggesting I sit on his lap, then giving up his seat for me, but I was immediately struck with a case of jitters. (btw, could the booths at Tokyo Gardens be any smaller?) He's good looking, funny, obviously smart, there is no way this guy would ever even consider me, right? I spent the better part of the next twenty to thirty minutes trying to keep up with the conversation, laugh when appropriate, and not turn into my hyena alter ego.
The show started, and because of the way in which Tokyo Gardens is set up, I'm practically in Chris' lap trying to see the stage. The show itself was good, if uneven, with some guys killing (Johnny Osborne) and some guys dying (Jeff the Bastard). All the while, Chris is adding little aside jokes, some of which I get, some of which I just don't hear. Apparently everyone else notices that he's paying attention to me, everyone except me. Young Andy even tells me this morning that he thought Chris was my date. Very helpful.
After the show we head to the Grill for some munchies. I'm the first one there, get a table, get my chat on with SM (who ignores me just a little bit, admit it, you totally did!). Chris arrives next, but I'm not sure what to talk about, and am feeling particularly awkward. Once Jag and HP arrive, convo was smooth sailing again for a while, though I can feel them (Jag and HP) willing me to be better at the talking and interacting.
At last call, we're winding down and I head to the restroom, HP and Jag head home and I think Chris has gone as well. As I'm leaving, I stop to give SM a hug, and he gives me a funny look and a nudge over the shoulder. I'm like 'What?' and he directs me to Chris, standing there waiting. So I say to Chris 'oh, I'm sorry were you waiting to talk to Mike or Stephen?' like I need to get out of his way. SM hisses 'No, silly, he's been waiting for you.' 'What, noooo!' *much eye rolling on SM's part* I awkwardly try to salvage by digging in my purse for a card to give him. 'Well, it was really nice to meet you' *smile* He leaves and SM is indicating that I should chase after, which I should have. I don't know that there is any way to erase my cluelessness, but I wish I had those last five minutes to do over.
My Own Worst Enemy
I am an idiot friends.
Went to Jag's comedy show tonight and he introduced me to a man named Chris, a gorgeous, funny and available man. Apparently Chris was sending me signals that he was interested, which I missed because I am clueless. Honestly, I just thought there was no way that he would be interested in me.
Went to Jag's comedy show tonight and he introduced me to a man named Chris, a gorgeous, funny and available man. Apparently Chris was sending me signals that he was interested, which I missed because I am clueless. Honestly, I just thought there was no way that he would be interested in me.
Saturday, November 7, 2009
The Countdown - bullet points
I have 54 days until I officially move north, and yes I do have a calendar wherein I am crossing off days with a red marker.
Yesterday I went to view an apartment in the Tower District, cute building, nice landlord, $500 a month, awkward layout. I'm still looking, but it might be the one.
Bartending classes went really well all week, and I have an interview to work at Dougherty's, in downtown Tulare, on Tuesday. Just to get some 'behind the bar' experience and earn a little bit more moving money.
Went to the Creative Fresno blender last night at Silverdollar Hofbrau. I'm still awkward.
Going to Jag's comedy show tonight. It's at Tokyo Garden at 9:30pm, everyone should come on down.
Yesterday I went to view an apartment in the Tower District, cute building, nice landlord, $500 a month, awkward layout. I'm still looking, but it might be the one.
Bartending classes went really well all week, and I have an interview to work at Dougherty's, in downtown Tulare, on Tuesday. Just to get some 'behind the bar' experience and earn a little bit more moving money.
Went to the Creative Fresno blender last night at Silverdollar Hofbrau. I'm still awkward.
Going to Jag's comedy show tonight. It's at Tokyo Garden at 9:30pm, everyone should come on down.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Goal #34
Stop getting my hopes up.
p.s. anybody heard of any openings up in Fresno? I'm looking for a bartending job, or server/waitress, I ain't picky.
p.s. anybody heard of any openings up in Fresno? I'm looking for a bartending job, or server/waitress, I ain't picky.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Vixen
I have recently been cast in the role of vixen that, although I find it amusing, is quite upsetting. When everyone was encouraging me to ask PizzaChef out, give him my number, etc. I heard one refrain 'If you hurt him, I will kill you'. Well, what about if he hurts me? For example, it has been a full 48 hours since I gave him my number and he hasn't called. In girl time, that means he's not interested, which makes me sad. Who's killing him for me? Nobody, that's who.
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