Monday, October 5, 2009

too something

it's always something...

I swear, the universe did not want me publishing what I just spent 40 minutes typing, because I accidentally hit the mouse pad and erased all but the first line. It was depressing drivel anyway.

I was just planning to say that, no matter what, I'm always too something for someone. Too old, too young, too fat, too naive, too complying, too composed, too willing, too shallow, too silly, too immature, too whatever. I can only be who I am, a 33 year old with no significant relationships in my past, attracted to older men who are unavailable to me, and maybe a little selfish since I've only had to think of myself, or family, for the last 33 years of my life. I'd like to have someone significant in my life, soon. I'm not gonna lie, friends, I want to have a relationship, bad. I want the person to come home to, the cuddles in bed, morning make-outs and I'm jealous of my friends tht have this. All of you in relationships right now, I hope you know how lucky you are.

That's all.


  1. I know this is cliche', but stop looking, and keep in mind that you have been in the Valley for a long time where the pickings are slim to be sure. If all these people think you are too much of something then their asses weren't worth it to begin with. At least you have had the good sense not to get into a situation that just wasn't going to last. It's better than dating to death and having a sea of bad emotions left in your wake. I mean seriously, how many times have you looked at some of us wondering why the hell we were dating certain people? You have always been an incredible lady, and that is something you cannot forget. When I think of you I think of Momma Uchita; incredibly strong and passionate, yet incredibly sensitive and attentive as well. You WILL find the guy that deserves you, I have every faith it will happen. This blog is a testament to how much you are broadening your horizons and challenging yourself to make a change. I applaud you for everything you are doing...this year isn't over, and the next will only get better.

  2. Fortunately I'm not speaking of any one situation in particular, just my general experiences thus far. I do think I've been in the valley too long though. I think I'll move, how's SF? Think I could get a bartending job up there with no experience?

    Honestly right now I'm just torn. I want to move in one direction, but my gut is moving me in another. I will always remember Ashley saying 'If you aren't moving forward, then you're moving backwards, there is no such thing as standing still'.

  3. ctrl-z

    it would have brought all that typing right back to ya.