Back on task, a few years ago my very loving best friend decided to set me up with someone that she felt was my perfect match. Since our interests matched up pretty well, we had a couple of mutual friends, and he was single, it seemed as if all might work out exactly as she planned. Except for one minor detail, he was not into me. I actually really liked him (I'll called him Werewolf). He made me laugh, we had similar political beliefs, he made fun of my spiritual beliefs, but I can laugh at myself, obviously. I came out swinging here, asking him out, and when he hedged, I baited him with 'come on, what could one lunch hurt?' A lot actually, when he forgets about the lunch and goes to get a haircut, thereby leaving me in front of his house wondering what awful things could have happened. Now, werewolf and I are still friends, this was a long time ago, and actually I had forgotten about our first 'date' until I started thinking about this post, but my point is this, I asked him out again. Why? Like most women, I am a glutton for punishment. We hung out several times, friends style, with me thinking that it might develop into more, that eventually he would see how great I am and fall all over himself for me. He didn't. He won't. But I will remember how great I am for the next guy, and maybe next time he will.
Oh my gosh....Does this happen to every woman at some point in life? (Does it happen to every man?) I remember several very similar situations in my own life. And I just kept going back again and again and again, mistaking fun and friendship for the elusive Maybe-Love. And what kills me is that we're all smart enough to know the difference, but hope is so damn seductive....
ReplyDeleteOpen sexuality in a world of pretenders and whores, (not that you are either! the opposite actually. but a minority none-the-less) says to most people, "i'm a whore" or "i'm pretending to be a whore so that you'll like me"
ReplyDeletethese days it is really hard to be honest and still send a clear message. one step in the wrong direction and it is easily (EASILY) misinterpreted. My honesty has derailed several potentially wonderful dates. but i won't compromise it! what has worked best for me is at some point calmly and honestly taking the interpretation out of the equation. "this is what i think and want, how do you feel?" you wont always get the answer you want, and it could ruin a good date if the other person can't handle honesty. but then if you like him and he likes you, you both know whats up. (Sidenote: the last time i tried this, it blew up in my face and the girl hasn't spoken to me since.) :D
just my $.02