Coming on too strong has always back-fired on me in the past, but I can not help it, it's in my nature. I 'throw all of my eggs into one basket' and pursue the hell out of whatever it is. The irony is not lost on me, I am afraid to approach a stranger I'm interested in, but as soon as I am comfortable, all bets are off, I have tunnel vision on my target. Although, that sounds way more predatory than it is meant.
The first time this instinct kicked in I was a freshman at Westmont. My girlfriends and I were having lunch when Superman sat down at our table and started asking questions. To clarify, Superman was Sam, and Sam looked like a young Christopher Reeve. He asked us some inane question and I retorted by asking him if he was in the habit of hitting on lower-classmen in the DC (dining commons). Apparently Sam thought I was funny and turned his considerable charm directly on me. We chatted for about an hour, in fact I think I skipped a class in order to keep talking to him. With the encouragement (i.e. egging on) of my friends, I got up the guts to call and ask him out, a milkshake at the snack bar (no drinks, this was at Christian College). At that, our first date, Sam told me that he thought aggresive behavior, like asking for a date, was unbecoming in a woman, to which I responded "then why did you agree to go out with me?" That question got me a second date.
Sam and I spent alot of time together for several weeks. We would eat lunch together, study together (even though he was a Senior and taking way harder classes than me), and sat at Vespers together, which was huge there. One day I called Sam and asked if I could get him to take me into town, since as a freshman I didn't have a car, I told him I would buy him dinner if he would take me shopping. Here is, apparently, where I miscommunicated. He agreed, but when we got into town and I asked if he wanted to shop first or eat first, he got angry and accused me of using him for his car. At a stop light in downtown Santa Barbara, he leaned over me and opened my passenger door, indicated that I should get out, and then left me there on the street corner, very confused. Later, after I made the most of my shopping trip, and had a grand time by myself, I tried to talk to Sam, but he made it clear that he was uninterested in resolving the issue. I avoided him like the plague, since I knew his schedule well, that wasn't very hard. During finals week that semester, Sam tried to sit with me a couple of times in the DC, but I just got up and left the table, no matter where I was in the course of my meal. I'll always be confused by this chain of events, but pursuing him so aggressively has always weighed on my mind.
Next time I tell you about my next bout with aggressiveness, but for now a picture of the set I've been painting on.