Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda...

I will endeavor this year to be more honest with you, my faithful readers, with the people I interact with, and more importantly, with myself. To that end, I have decided to tell you my reactions to Saturday night, at the risk of embarrassing myself. What have I got to lose, I embarrass myself on a daily basis anyway, right?

Alright, so Saturday night, after Rocky was over, I headed to Starline to hang with ARN. I was really looking forward to it, cause I'd had such a great time the night before. On the way into the Grill I stopped to give SM a hug and kiss, but he stopped me, not wanting to give ARN any wrong impression of our relationship. Which, come to think of it, is increasingly weird. The Grill was packed with people, and ARN was sitting with Jag and Brooke, having a drink. We should have gotten out of there, should have made for a quieter place, but we didn't. The Rocky cast descended on the Grill as well, in full costume, which really made it hard to talk and get to know each other further. I was exhausted, and falling asleep in the booth, but trying valiantly to stay in tune with the flow of conversation. Anyone who has been around me in this state of mind can tell you that I get vague, make strange references to things unconnected to the convo, and generally give people reason to be concerned, so at 1:30am I called it a night. ARN walked me to my car and like a perfect gentleman stood five feet away! Am I crazy? He could have tried to kiss me, that's where I thought it was going. Once again I have misread some signals somewhere.

ARN is back at school now-far, far way, so I won't be around him for at least two months, but hopefully, even after this post, he will keep in touch and we can try a do-over.

1 comment:

  1. ARN was doing the 'gentlemanly' thang, knowing he was leaving the next day.

    Now, this isn't criticism, it's just a teaching moment. Had your fingers gently laid to rest on his knees at the table, had your knee constantly pushed against his at the table, the signals would've been poppin.'

    He knew you're no one-night stand girl, and therefore respected you as such. And he prolly also knew that one set of smooches at the car would have been kinda sad, a start to something he couldn't finish while so far away.

    So if you wanted to let him know it was okee-dokey to lay some onya, it unfortunately would've fallen on you to spread the signals to this particular dude.

    Next time I'll just say screw it and kiss you hello, as it's our thang.