Hottest Day Ever!

How exactly do you enjoy getting dressed and living when it is 107 degrees outside? I love this new top and skirt, but you might notice that my face is looking a little bedraggled. That is from having just finished 'Mockingjay' by Suzanne Collins. It's the third in the 'Hunger Games' series, and just devastated me. I love young adult fiction that tells it like it is, no covering up the feelings when you lose someone, no easy answers to complicated questions, just honest human interaction. These books are brilliant, you must read them.

Top: Target

Skirt: Target

Belt: Target

My apartment looks deceptively clean behind me! hahahaha

Food and Fashion

If you haven't noticed, I'm taking a turn on this blog. I'll be talking about my life in general, food, fashion, all kinds of things. I hope that you all, my faithful few readers, will stick with me while I figure myself out here.

I've been trying to make a effort to look good everyday, but with the heat that we've had it's been a challenge. This pic is from the end of the day, after I pulled my hair up to cook, after I took out my earrings and took off my sandals. This top is an old faithful and I hit myself for not purchasing it in five or six colors.

Shirt: Torrid

Shorts: Lane Bryant

Tonight's dinner is my favorite easy recipe - Taco Soup. I make variations of this depending on what I have in my cabinets. Tonight I made it with Ground Turkey, but usually it's beef. And, yes, that is a glass of Kool-Aid.

Taco Soup

1 pound Ground Beef or Turkey

1 packet Taco Seasoning

1 packet Ranch Dressing Mix

1 can Diced Tomatoes

1 can Kidney Beans

1 can Lima and/or Black Beans

1 can Whole Corn Kernels

1 can Sliced Carrots

Brown the meat in deep pot, sometimes I will caramelize some onions first and then add the meat to cook, drain oil off then add both seasoning packets. At this point I like to add about an half cup of wine or Balsamic Vinegar, but it's not necessary. Reduce liquids. Add all other ingredients, with the water in their cans. Bring to a boil. Turn down heat and let simmer for about 30 minutes. I sometimes add pasta. This can easily be done in the Crock Pot and it is delicious!

Blue Tuesday

Ohh, the uselessness of an alarm that I can easily sleep through. Yesterday started in a rush, when I woke up to the realization that I had been sleeping through the alarm by about 30 minutes. My hairs didn't get washed, since I knew I was headed to a haircut that night anyway, but I was also feeling super uninspired by my closet. I am officially starting another shopping ban, so it's all about remixing for the rest of 2010. This top is one of those things that I can throw on and get complimented on all day. I actually have no idea why, but it's super soft and comfy in the heat.

Top - Lane Bryant

Jeans - Lane Bryant

Pink Chucks - JCPenneys

I must find someone to take pics for me so that I can stop doing to in the mirror style ones.





Love my Chucks!

Loves to cook....

One of the many joys of living on my own is getting to cook. Or rather, not having to cook, and not having to justify my food choices to anyone else. Tonight, after attending Pecha Kucha at Starline, I came home and fixed myself a fried bologna sandwich.

Yum, look at that fried bologna deliciousness!

I also adore my newly organized pantry cabinet ---->

I'm Back!!!!

Hello all! I've been going through a lot the last couple of months and have missed getting to share here. I think I'll just jump back in the deep end.

I have been a resident of Fresno for just about five months now. I love living in Fresno! Love it. I will never understand people that complain about where they live. If I am bored with my city, I think that it is my responsibilty to create or find something to do. As my grandmother used to say 'Boring people get bored', and that is not me. I love that I can walk my neighborhood, go to Twee Boutique on Friday afternoon and craft with the girls there, find a friend at one of the bars in walking distance any night of the week, and that there is live music every night within an eight block radius. Living on my own has been great. I clean when I feel like it, which is never, but nobody else has to live in my sloppy house. It does get lonely and sometimes, even if I force myself to get out and socialize, I still feel I'm missing out on something.

Friends, I've never really had a long term romantic relationship. Sure, I've had guys that I dated for a few months, but never an honest-to-god, I could spend my life with this person, relationship. It's frustrating and humiliating in a way that I think few people can relate to. For the last ten or so years I've thought 'What is wrong with me?' I certainly don't have the romantic notions of one person for everyone, that I had as a little girl and teenager, but I do believe that it should be possible to find someone that thinks I'm tolerable. That being said, I do have pretty set opinions, and am not willing to settle for someone that I don't feel tugged towards.

So Kelly's and Stacy's mom (Kelly and Stacy are friends from high school and Encore Theatre days) is getting certified as a life coach. She needs to get hours together with clients before she can be certified, so I'm going to be one of her guinea pigs. There is, of course, a minor issue in the opening questionnaire. It asks questions like 'What would you like to get out of this experience?' or 'How do you want to grow?'. To which I say, I don't know, that's why I signed up for life coaching. I don't know what I want. Heck, I barely know what I want to wear each day, and clothing is something in my life I actually actively engage with. I'll keep you updated on this front, I might even ask for help from a few of you.

Speaking of help, I need a full time job. If anybody knows of someone that is hiring, please let me know. Thanks all!

It's Time

Friends,

After much thought and soul searching I have officially decided to shutter The Date Project. It seems that maybe it wasn't such a good idea after all, since all I have managed to do is hurt other people and myself in the process.

I will be blogging on my Belles and Whistles blog again and will continue to talk about clothes, guys and life in general, only in a much looser fashion.

Thank you to everyone for the love, support and input, and for taking this crazy journey with me, it's been truly life altering.

My Time Off

Well Friends,

It's certainly been awhile. I am officially a resident of Fresno, and my little apartment is looking really cute so far. I've been a busy girl, going from working at Laura's to rehearsal to Rogue volunteer meetings and back to Tulare to get more stuff from the family. My parents have been super cool, providing me with everything I needed to get going in my new home, and grandma gave me so many groceries, I won't have to go shopping for at least a month.

Unfortunately, no dates. Actually, my friends, I have a confession, I have begun a relationship. Sort of. You may remember ARN that I went out with on New Year's Day. I wasn't sure how I felt about him, and frankly, he lives in Oregon at the moment, so I wasn't expecting anything to happen, but it has. We started talking online, on the phone, texting and it just escalated. It's still nothing official, and I'm frankly freaked out by it's advancement. Feeling slightly crazy about that.

I am a skittish girl.

In Process

Sorry friends for not posting for over a week. I am moving this week, and I get my keys on Monday. I'm so excited! I can not wait to get up there, I've spent the last couple of days going through boxes of stuff that I have in storage trying to figure out what is absolutely necessary to my life. There's not much storage in my new place, so I have to be very picky about what is an absolute must. I'll get some pictures of the process of the move up so that you can enjoy it with me, then I'll have everyone over for a big bowl of soup.

Links

As most of you know, I am an obsessive reader; I tend to plow through a stack of books the way my dogs eat leftovers. This obsession has transferred itself to the web recently and I have been asked by several friends to send some links to my favorite sites. In that spirit I present you with the list of websites and blogs that I check on a semi-regular basis (honestly, daily, I am in stalker territory with some of these bloggers).



This blog is the first one I started following, and she's hilarious. Her husband's blog is also sublime.



When I feel sad about the world I go to PostSecret, and I always give these books as gifts. Love it! I'd love to figure out a way to get Frank Warren to speak here in the valley.



This artist takes the most stunningly colorful pictures. I just want to fall into her world.

These artist's blogs are just beautiful. Shabbyscraps (Shabby Chic!), Theodesign (illustrator), Pretty Petals (more shabby chic) & Flossy-P (gorgeous artwork).

Over at Mighty Girl I think anything is possible, and if it can be done Ms. Mason will figure out how to do it. The most inspiring thing is her Mighty Life List, all of the things that she wants to do in her lifetime.

To find out what's going on in Fresno I go here, here, or here.

I don't know why but The Sartorialist and his girlfriend Garance are photogs that I follow like a bloodhound. I get so disappointed when they haven't posted new pic for a few days.

I was really liking this Picture Fresno blog, but they haven't posted in a while, so I'm afraid they've given up. :(

The last couple of months I have added several independent fashion blogs to my list of must reads and it all started with Already Pretty. Then there was Fashion for Nerds, Bright Side Dweller, The Hidden Seed , Gilding the Frilly and Fab Frocks. There are a few more, but I thought that this list was already looking long.

Finally, there are a couple of sites that I go to just to smile. Here, here and here.

Oh, one more. When I can stand to deal with the outside world, I check in here.

Have a good week!

Time

There's never enough time in the day, right? Except here I am, at 2:23pm, sitting in my office, a stack of incoming bills sitting to my left, and I am writing a blog post. What I really want to talk about, though, is the fact that, although I now have a apartment rented in Fresno, I can not move into it until mid-February, and the time between then and now seems an eternity. The days have gotten longer, the hours pass slower. Are you aware of this phenomenon?

A few years back, at the end of my tour with MCT, I felt like the last week, in Gilroy, would never end. The Wednesday of that week I went to visit my friends in the bay area and on the way back to Gilroy nearly turned east on Hwy 152 to drive home. It was only three hours away - but three days in MCT time. What was also stretching the time was my planned trip to NOLA with Nicole and Brooke. I felt like it would never come, and yet on the trip it felt like we didn't have enough time to get to everything.

Time is currently playing lots of tricks on me. I need to find a job in the next month, in order to be able to sustain myself in Fresno, and it seems like I've been job hunting forever. I need to pack my belongings so that I am ready for the move, but I keep telling myself, 'Oh, I've got plenty of time'. It doesn't help that I am a confirmed procrastinator.

Enough about that, how cute is this picture of Karen R., myself and my mom with Love And Theft, from KJUG's Jingle Jam concert this Dec.? They signed my guitar! You can't tell from the picture, but my outfit was super cute, always with the red.

Advice

The fact that I am surrounded by highly intelligent people for the majority of my life is one of the things that has made life fun in the past few years. I have exceptional friends. My exceptional friends are also caring and generous and occasionally overwhelm me, in good ways and bad. Luckily they are astute enough to know when my eyes are crossed with advice, and it is no longer sinking in. Also, I wouldn't be sharing my experiences, if I didn't want help and advice.

That being said, I am developing my own philosophy about dating, along the lines of my new take on my wardrobe. I do love clothes, after all. Here it is: If you try someone on, someone that everyone thinks is a perfect fit, even if you see that they are a perfect fit, but they just don't suit you, put them back on the rack. You will regret taking them home, and if they are still on the market, they have the chance to get picked up by someone that truly fits, and so do you. In love as in fashion, if you don't absolutely love it, you'll never wear it.

Thank you friends for your advice! I truly treasure it. Keep it coming.

Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda...

I will endeavor this year to be more honest with you, my faithful readers, with the people I interact with, and more importantly, with myself. To that end, I have decided to tell you my reactions to Saturday night, at the risk of embarrassing myself. What have I got to lose, I embarrass myself on a daily basis anyway, right?

Alright, so Saturday night, after Rocky was over, I headed to Starline to hang with ARN. I was really looking forward to it, cause I'd had such a great time the night before. On the way into the Grill I stopped to give SM a hug and kiss, but he stopped me, not wanting to give ARN any wrong impression of our relationship. Which, come to think of it, is increasingly weird. The Grill was packed with people, and ARN was sitting with Jag and Brooke, having a drink. We should have gotten out of there, should have made for a quieter place, but we didn't. The Rocky cast descended on the Grill as well, in full costume, which really made it hard to talk and get to know each other further. I was exhausted, and falling asleep in the booth, but trying valiantly to stay in tune with the flow of conversation. Anyone who has been around me in this state of mind can tell you that I get vague, make strange references to things unconnected to the convo, and generally give people reason to be concerned, so at 1:30am I called it a night. ARN walked me to my car and like a perfect gentleman stood five feet away! Am I crazy? He could have tried to kiss me, that's where I thought it was going. Once again I have misread some signals somewhere.

ARN is back at school now-far, far way, so I won't be around him for at least two months, but hopefully, even after this post, he will keep in touch and we can try a do-over.

A Running Start

2010 has already started out well. Thursday night, after a surprisingly fantastic run of Rocky, I joined HP and Jag at the grill for the turn of the year. Whilst chatting with them, they mentioned Jag's friend (I'll call him ARN) that would be joining us for a drink. HP declares that we are the male and female version of each other, which I find intriguing, and a little bit scary. ARN joins us and is funny, charming and pretty cute, so I, towards the end of the night, awkwardly ask how long he is in town and if he would like to go out the next night. With some help from HP*, we set a time and place to meet, exchange phone numbers and promises to be there the next night. I have a date! On Jan. 1st! An auspicious start to the year.

*Really, I wouldn't have ended up being able to set a time and date. I am intially confident, but my follow through sucks.

So last night we met in front of a strangely closed Starline and headed west on Olive. Neither of us, making the date at the last minute, had planned anything, so we decided to walk Olive and see what struck us. ARN is a theatre grad student, so we had plenty to talk about, including mutual friends. He knows a director that I worked with 6 years ago. Totally random. We had dinner at Sequoia Brewing and then headed over to Manchester to see Sherlock Holmes. I ended the date after the movie, only because I had to drive home and be at work this morning at 9am, but I encouraged him to call me, facebook me, email me, whatever. What do you know, he added me on the FB and we are meeting up again tonight after Rocky.

No pictures of my outfit, but I was looking pretty cute. Black tights, black denim pencil skirt, red turtleneck sweater, black chucks, and my giant blue shell earrings.

I am having some regrets that I didn't mention that he would be the subject of this post. Still on the fence about letting people know that I will be sharing these details with a small selection of readers. What do you think? And, ARN, if you happen to read this, any impressions you'd like to share?

Even though...

...there are four days left in the year, I'm saying goodbye to 2009 today here at the Date Project. In this my 77th post I'm going to let go of a year that has been a rollercoaster. Odd number years are always iffy for me. I don't know how to describe it, but even numbered years are always better. I know, I know, it's like a superstition or self-fulfilling prophesy, but that works both ways right? I will have a good 2010.

I will be working backstage for the "Rocky Horror Show" at the Tower Theatre on New Year's Eve this year, which I'm pretty excited about. I will miss Kris and Steve's bash, which is sad, but I also won't have anybody looking at 'Werewolf' and I and shaking their heads, wondering why we're not a couple. It's never intentional on their part, but I know what those looks are about.

New year's would be nothing without resolutions and here's mine:

I will live for myself this year, disregarding what others think I should be doing.

I hope that everyone has a fun and safe New Year's Eve and a great 2010! Love you all,

K

New Traditions

Holiday traditions have always been very important to me. I suppose they have always been a way for me to control my environment when I feel the most vulnerable. The problem being that, the last couple of years, my family has made it pretty clear that they have no interest in continuing the traditions that have been in our family for years. With that, and many other factors playing in, I have decided to start creating my own traditions, holiday and otherwise, and not allowing my expectations to get out of hand with regards to my family.

I had the second worst Christmas in my life this year, and I intend to put it behind me and move on.

Busy Week

It's the holidays, so I'm quite sure that all of you are having the same time issues as me, there never seems to be enough time in the day. So here's what I've been doing over the past week since I've written.

Monday - Circle N sponsored a concert for KJUG, called the 'Jingle Jam', as part of our marketing for the month of December. The fun side of sponsoring these things is that we get free tickets, and for this one we got to go to a VIP party before the concert and meet the band. They are an adorable trio of guys called Love And Theft, if you like modern Country music you should check them out. I hope they get really big, cause I got them to sign my guitar, which already has Chely Wright's signature on it (she is also a Country act). I also got to see Brooke on Monday. She joined us at the concert and for dinner afterwards. It was a really fun night, up until the point that Aunt Karen asked how much I spent on the advertising.

Side note: I just LOVE it when a customer asks a question, and then tells you that your answer is wrong!

Tuesday - I headed north Tuesday night to walk Christmas Tree Lane with Brooke and Jay. I think that by the end of the two mile walk I was unable to form sentences. I'm not in bad shape, but it was cold, and stressful to be out with people that I don't know that well.

Wednesday - Although it was a pretty low-key night, I went out to dinner with Grandma, Aunt Karen and Uncle Jim, which is always a little stressful.

Thursday - Thursday was our big promotion for the month of December, a Men's Night, so that guys could come and pick up all their gifts in one night. We offered free gift wrapping, snacks and drinks, and we had about three guys show up. It was very disappointing. I'd had several people tell me what a great idea they thought it was, a lot of good response form our radio and print ads, and folks telling me that they would be here, but alas, practically no one showed up.

Friday - I went up to Fresno on Firday to spend the day with Brooke. It was a good time, but as always, exhausting because I'm not living up there yet, and I have nowhere to go when I want to just rest. We ended the night at Starline with Nate Butler's Christmas Sing-a-long, which was cool because I saw a few people that I haven't seen for a while. By 10pm I was a pumpkin and drove home.

Saturday - Nicole and Grant's Christmas party. As always, a good time, with lots of catching up and nerd games. I am the real life of the party too, since I fell asleep while playing Werewolf.

Sunday - Family Christmas. Actually, sunday really started with me walking into the house to discover the jug that I had been steeping Limoncello in, in the sink and full of water. My mom decided to clean, and instead of asking, thought that it was some old lemonade and cleaned out the jug. I can not tell you how sick in the stomach this makes me. And sad. There goes my goal of hand made gifts, three gifts down the drain. (Limoncello takes six weeks to make so there's no way to make more) Sunday night we went for our traditional pizza parlor dinner and gifts under the tree with the extended family. What always makes me crazy, is the adults, mainly my grandmother and aunt, who expect the kids to sit patiently before they get gifts and after the gifts are open. 'Stop rough housing!', 'Don't make noise!' 'Behave!', as if they are not kids that are excited that it's Christmas, and that they are getting presents. And then, I find out that my mom and dad have had a fight, and my dad left last night. I just give up!

Oh, Friends

I've been stood up! My date tonight didn't happen, but don't cry for me Argentina, obviously he wasn't worth my time. I think maybe he was looking for a bootie call, or one night stand, or whatever last night and since I didn't give it up, he didn't think I was worth a second drink. Whatever he thought, he didn't share his thoughts with me. Good thing I'm well able to entertain myself.

A date?

Yesterday was Adi's 21st birthday, so a bunch of her friends took her out for drinks. We ended up at Visalia Brewing Company, which incidentally I have never been to, where they were doing some karaoke. Not that it's a big surprise, I think they karaoke there every night. At any rate, as I was choosing a song to sing, a gentleman started talking to me. Well, what do you know, I didn't make a complete ass of myself and eventually he bought me a drink. As the night progressed he asked me to dance. And, as we were leaving I gave him my card. He called - 15 minutes later - and asked me out for tonight! Adi and Matt think he might be gay, but hey I'm going to go out with him anyway.

hey friends

Remember how I have those goals of things I want to accomplish before I turn 34? Well, I wanted to give you a status update.

Goal #2: Start a business: Well, I got my business cards, so I guess All Season Creative is off and running, although I haven't officially done anything yet. Can't check it off yet, but the cards are beautiful (Thanks Laura, you're awesome!).

Goal #4: I am in process on several Christmas gifts, I will post pictures as soon as I give the gifts out.

Goal #7: Well, since none of us can afford to go to Dicken's this year, this goal will have to be scraped. Maybe I can dance with a stranger at a New Year's Party this year?!

Goal #9: I'm on page 50 of "War And Peace"

Goal #32: there aren't many foods that I am scared of, I may need some help.

As for Goal #1: Finish The Date Project - Well, maybe I'll try online dating again.

Loves!

Lots of Ground

Oh friends, I have a lot of ground to cover tonight.

I. Over a week since my last post, but a downswing week to be sure. Rest assured I am now on the upswing. Swings? Yes, as in my cycle of mood swings. I think I've officially made a scientific study of these swings and can now say that I have a complete four week cycle figured out.

week one: downshifting; I start to feel bad about myself, therefore I treat myself to copious amounts of Ben & Jerry's, which makes me feel guilty, thereby creating a downward spiral.

week two: bottom of the heap; Wherein I am depressed and don't want to leave my house, bedroom, or even my comfy bed. (usually coincides with "Aunt Flo" visiting)

week three: manic upswing; unbridled optimism and confidence. I always dress the best in this week.

week four: realism; the week that I get the most accomplished, punctuated by list making and cleaning projects.

Now, if I could just figure out how to work out a work schedule that could play to the strengths of my natural rhythms I would be in business.


II. This week I have begun almost all of my Christmas presents, but I'm starting to get nervous that I won't finish them all in the next three weeks. Of course, last year Julia got her present on her birthday in April instead of at Christmas. Hopefully that won't happen again. I was also going to send out Christmas cards this week, but realized that I don't really have the physical addresses of my friends. It is an odd world that we live in, for sure.


III. Tonight I attended the encore performance of Airplane Jayne's one woman show "Looking for my Man-I-Can". It was so funny, and gave me a shot in the arm for this project. Dating and relationships are so strange, but the fun is in sharing your own story and finding people who have been through something similar.


IV. Speaking of - My friend Young Andrew and I have been chatting a bit on facebook, since we both seem to be online in the morning at about the same time. This week we were commiserating and I realized that men's dating lives aren't that different from a woman's. Miscommunications, misread signals, and hurt feelings. Of course, that thought brought to mind Jag's bit of wisdom from several months ago, that 'a man must jump over barriers whilst a woman is simultaneously lowering them'. What a dog and pony show this dating is. The fact is that my barriers are there for a reason (daddy issues) and there don't seem to be any men trying to jump those barriers at the moment.


V. That thought makes me wonder if the men who were going to try to jump my barriers have tried already. I've had my alotment, rejected them, and am now forever doomed to singleton status.

The year I turned 20 was one of the worst of my life, my parents divorce, dropping out of Westmont (though, definitely the right decision), and a job at my old high school as a coach for the colorguard. That job made me so fucking miserable, although, in hindsight, it probably saved me from finishing my degree in English with a teaching credential, getting a job as a teacher and living a life of pure misery. The one bright spot of the job was a guy named Chris that I had gone to school with. Chris was the drumline coach, a super D & D nerd, but very sweet. Unfortunately Chris decided that it would be really cute for us to become a couple. Without consulting me about this decision. I liked Chris, as a friend, in fact at the time he was probably my best friend, but I was not ready for him to start sending me bouquets of roses, or make suggestive remarks in front of our students. He came on really strong and I immediately retreated, threw up every barrier I could find, think of, whatever. Luckily, the next month I got fired, and I haven't seen him since, but I do wish I could go back and tell him to chill out. I might have responded to more subtlety.

BTW, if you are in the Fresno area this coming week there are a few things I plan to attend and you should too. One is the Circle de Noel show, it's a bunch of Fresno based etsy sellers, getting together and selling their crafts and art on Dec. 10th. I'll try to get more info and post it. The other thing is White Rice Christmas at KP's Actor's Gym. It's about Asian immigrant's experiences with the American version of Christmas.